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July 7, 2015

The powers that be are taking the pop out of Bubble Wrap because they hate us

The powers that be are taking the pop out of Bubble Wrap because they hate us

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Bubble-wrapImage: Corbis, Paul Edmondson

Headshot_2015_maxknoblauch_1By Max Knoblauch

Further proof that corporations are pure evil: they're killing Bubble Wrap.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Bubble Wrap sales are falling amongst new competition in the market. Sealed Air Corp., inventors of Bubble Wrap (the gift that keeps on giving), are revamping their packing product to appeal to space-conscious manufacturers. This new product, called iBubble Wrap (good lord), will not pop when you squeeze it.

See also: What $1,500 in Rent Gets You in 11 U.S. Cities

Bubble-Wrap-man

Image: Corbis

This new, bastardized version of Bubble Wrap will cost less to ship to customers, which I guess is what matters if you have no joy in your soul.

Bubble Wrap was invented in 1957, and has been easing the stress of moving ever since. Because Sealed Air does not hold the patent for Bubble Wrap's design, more companies could still sell the packaging material, though we just can't imagine it'll be the same.

R.I.P. Bubble Wrap, we hardly knew you.

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Topics:
Business, Conversations, moving, Watercooler